Sure, it takes more guts approaching someone in the flesh than it does online (where the screen feels like it offers some sort of protection) but you may just be surprised.
As Ben Skirvin commented on Quora: “In the wild, I probably manage a date with a third to half of the women I ask out. Online, I wade through 300+ rejections for every terse response, if black hookup apps I treat it like a part time job. Of those, I manage a date every two or three months.”
Getting over the fear of rejection, and being ok with hearing ‘no’ is an important part of dating that we all need to learn to overcome.
Not everyone is going to be interested in us, that’s a fact of life. But just like anything, the more we do it, the less of a big deal it starts to feel.
3) Open up your energy
Often without realizing it, the way we are interpreted by other people we meet either gives them the green light or a big fat red stop sign.
The problem is that we can get stuck in habits where we are closed off but we don’t even notice anymore. It’s all in your body language and your mannerisms.
For example, whether you are looking at people and smiling or if you walk with your head down and your headphones in. If you’re waiting in line are your eyes up and looking around at your surroundings, or are they fixed firmly on your phone?
“Where did you two meet?”, I asked. “Oh, at the ATM”, she replied. Yep, she had met and befriended a complete stranger after using the same ATM.
The reality is that you can meet someone in literally any public space, whether it’s the park, grocery store, or yes, even at the ATM.
It’s less about the location and more about whether you are opening your energy up to allowing chance meetings to occur and progress.
4) Going to events
“Single at 25: I have to go out and meet someone. Single at 40: If it’s meant to be, the right person will find me in my home.”
Wearing real clothes rather than PJ’s or brushing your hair is entirely optional. Sadly, meeting people offline does require slightly more effort.
It may seem an obvious point, but if you want to meet someone out in the real world, the more you actually get out into the real world the greater your chances.
Attending friends’ parties, going to coworking spaces, picnics, gigs or concerts, gallery openings, etc. The more you mingle, the more opportunities you create for Cupid to find you.
They say it’s often when you least expect it that you meet someone. This is why increasing your potential for chance meetings is the name of the game.
5) Pursue your own interests
One of the most frustrating things about online dating has to be the challenge of finding someone who likes the same things as you, and that you will click with.
“Maybe 5 of them are attractive, but one of them loves hunting and strip clubs and hates reading. Another lives and breathes sports, and says he’s looking for the same. Another has an empty profile saying he’s looking for hookups, nothing serious.
“You’re left with two guys on an entire site. One will turn out to live with his mom and have no job, and the other will turn out to be a manipulative narcissist. It makes you feel like you’re going to die alone.”